Post "Unity"

[maquis_co]

Days had passed since the destruction of the Borg cube and Voyager was now traveling once again toward home. Without missing duty or neglecting his responsibilities, it was clear Chakotay was still processing the recent events. He'd been quieter than normal, keeping his responses to the necessary minimum. He'd also shown little of himself in the mess hall. Like the last three evenings before, the solitude of his quarters had won out over the company of others. Silently, he watched the stars race past the view port. The voices of his ancestors called to him. Uncharacteristically, he ignored them.

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[maquis_co]

He could picture the scene in his mind, feel the warm breeze on his face, see the bluebon-

His brain came to a skidding halt at the image that didn't belong to him. For a second, the expression on his face faltered. Then as quickly as it came he forced it aside.

"How can I say no?"

[directives]

However brief, it didn't escape her notice.

"What?" She implored. "What is it?"

[maquis_co]

There really wasn't an easy answer and as much as he wanted to dismiss the memories, they were now a part of him. Some of them were a jumble, some from cultures he was unfamiliar with. Some were too close to home.

"When I was connected to the link, I saw images from each of them. It's odd having memories that don't belong, that I don't remember forming myself."

[directives]

Tuvok melded with her once, and it's the only thing she can even remotely liken to what he's experienced at the hands of those rogue ex-drones. She could still recall speaking with Captain Hikaru Sulu, even though she never actually did, along with a dozen other memories that weren't her own. The only times the shared recollections threw her for a loop were when she was deep in the heart of the ship's database, pouring over old logs of 23rd Century captains Tuvok once served under. She had to take a moment to remind herself that she didn't remember them, he did -- but that was likely nothing compared to what Chakotay saw.

Kathryn reached out, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "They're not yours, and you know that. Being able to make that distinction is important."

It meant his mind wasn't corrupted by that Borg link, that he hadn't strayed off his individual path towards one that blurred the lines between himself and others. He was still one, not many.

[maquis_co]

"There's a split second, right at the beginning, where I can't tell the difference," he admitted, slightly disturbed. "I do make the distinction but it's not immediate. Hopefully that'll come with time and distance."

There were certainly benefits to the link as well. After all that's happened, he's loathe to admit them. It created a level of intimacy he'd never experience before, knowing an individual as well as they knew themselves, seeing and feeling everything. He felt Kathryn's hand on his arm and wished for a brief moment she could feel the comfort it lent him.

[directives]

On some level, one she would never admit to, Kathryn was equal parts jealous and wary of the link. It wasn't something she wanted to experience firsthand, but she envied the easy depth of the connection, of that which was shared readily between her first officer and the other members of the rogue collective. And at the same time, she feared it. Kathryn was an intensely private person who kept much to herself, locked away in various crevices of her mind with the intention of never allowing them to see the light of day. The link would eradicate that protective layer, exposing her in a way she wouldn't appreciate.

"It should," she reassured, lightly squeezing the flesh beneath her palm. Kathryn didn't understand how all of this worked, but she was confident that with time, the lingering effects of the link would wear off.

And she hoped that it would stay that way. Running into more Borg was an inevitability she had already excepted, something she knew was a possibility from the moment they began charting a course through the Delta Quadrant. The last thing Chakotay needed was for the link to reactivate itself once the Collective reared its ugly head.

[maquis_co]

"I wish there was some way to guarantee that," he commented, knowing full well there wasn't. Ever since he was a child, he'd feared losing his faculties, prizing his intelligence above all other gifts. Watching his grandfather grow worse heightened that fear.

[directives]

"As do I," she admitted with some reluctance.

Her hand fell away from his arm so she could take a step to the side, pacing a bit in front of the door.

"I went through all of it," Kathryn told him. "I even combed through archived entries from lower deck crewmen who were aboard the Enterprise when Q first flung them out into the path of that cube. None of it has given me any insight on how to help you or handle the Borg while in such close proximity to their native hunting grounds, so to speak."

Not even Captain Picard's experiences. Of course, the flagship's captain words were overshadowed by the rightful fury he felt towards the Collective for the violations he suffered at their hands. His words were invaluable, but ultimately unhelpful.